“Fortune brings
in some boats that are not steered.” – William Shakespeare.
Fortune,
karma, serendipity, or luck. Whichever term you use for the
fickle finger of fate, one thing is always agreed on, you can always use more
of it. So, what if we did have more? For that matter, what if I was the
luckiest person in all of history? In the following exercise I’d like to discuss
the advantages and even some pitfalls of being the luckiest man in the world.
If
I was the luckiest person in the world:
- If I was stranded in a boat with
three other people I wouldn’t chose the short straw to see who would get
eaten.
- I would only have good dreams while
I was in a coma.
- I would have just had a tetnus shot
a week before being attacked by a raccoon.
- My car would only run out of gas a
mile from any gas station.
- Gain noteriety by beating out Roy
Sullivan by getting hit by lightning eight times.
- I’d get my right hand caught in a
tablesaw. (Ed. Note-I’m left handed)
- The turkish prison I’m in would
have gluten-free food.
- Music would be outlawed the day I
go deaf.
- The poltergiest that inhabits my
home would only break things I don’t care for.
- The only Doctor that can re-attach
my hand (see number 6) lives in my town.
- My lottery winnings are exactly the
bill for my Doctor fees. (See number 10)
- A computer glitch pays out twice
the premium of my life insurance policy.
- Everytime I go to the DMV I find a
quarter on the ground.
- Cannibals consider me a delicacy.
- I’m only bitten by people with no
teeth.
- I always survive my monthly shark
attack.
- I inherit my long lost Uncles glass
eye collection.
- I never lose a game of marbles.
- My lawyer works pro-bono for my
murder trial.
- The voice in my head sounds like
James Earl Jones.
I think the one example that stands out to me would be that the poltergiest
that inhabits my home would only break things I don’t care for. How lucky would
that be?! It would be a blessing in disguise. There are so many things that
clutter my life. So many possessions that simply take up space that could be
used more productively. My poltergiest would be doing me a favor, making the
arduous task of selecting the chatskis and brick-a-brak to eliminate from my
collection for me.
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